And the AHCA is officially shelved, by request of the President.

Well, that’s a bummer. I was really looking forward to a whole new generation going to debtors prison because their parents didn’t have enough maternity coverage to pay for their births. That would’ve been awesome – you know, in the whole dystopian, “send us your young and poor as tribute to fight to the death on TV” kind of way. Too bad.

The funny thing, when Obama was president, the House voted over 50 times to either outright repeal the ACA, or to defund portions of the law in order to cripple it. When the Republicans knew that any repeal vote would be vetoed, when they had no real responsibility to produce an alternative, when they could just grandstand without any consequences, they voted. Oh man, did they vote. 50+ times.

But now that they control congress and the White House, now that they can really do something about it, now that they actually have to produce the alternative plan they say they’ve been working on for 8 fucking years, they go limp as a wet noodle. All that shouting for nothing. By producing this garbage bill and then failing to even hold a vote, they’ve proven that they never wanted to promote their own agenda, because they never had one to begin with. They just didn’t want Obama to get his way; ‘cos god forbid a Democrat had a half-decent idea. That’s not leadership, it’s obstruction; and that approach has never helped anyone, anywhere, at any time put food on the table.

You know what the GOP could have used to today? The one thing that might have helped them push this train wreck over the hump? A master negotiator. A dealmaker. Someone with years of experience in bringing people to the table and getting them to compromise in a way that works for everybody. Someone who truly understands the Subtlety of the Deal.

Hmm…that’s not phrase I’m looking for, is it? How about:

The Nuance of the Deal

No, still not quite right…let’s try this:

The Artifice of the Deal

Ehh, fuck it. I give up. Let’s cut out early and go to Mar a Lago.

I never, EVER wanted this job! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!